Happy Birthday Arkadiy!
By dear brother, I'd like to wish you a Happy Birthday! Where ever you are on this special day. This day is one of my favorite.
You have just turned 21 and I've missed you not just on your Birthday, but this day especially. I just wish you were happy and all your dreams come true. I would have given anything for a chance to pull your ears 22 times in exchange for my gift, to kiss you, and to give you my big hug.
Well I still hope it will happen, just ...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ARKASHA!
We all love you very much!
I could have started this this with "Hi Ark", but to me you are Arkadiy... Do you remember how attached you were to me as a little boy?
You were my shadow, cried when I was leaving to go out and I would stand outside the door listening to you and often go back inside.... go back to you. Now it's your turn to come back to me… I’m here, waiting for you to hear me cry
Please forgive me for not telling you everyday how much I love you, I just always thought that you knew it. Now I regret not telling you everyday how proud I was and always am to be your sister. Watching you growing into handsome, smart, good-hearted man. I miss you, there are no words that could ever describe it, I MISS you so much. Sometimes I dream that you are just outside my door, ringing the bell... and then I keep you up till dawn telling you all the stuff that has been happening here.
Mom and Dad are here with me, so don't worry about them, I'm taking good care of them. I just want to talk to you... hear your voice... did I tell you how much I've missed you?
I’ve had a phone interview for Missing Pieces, Todd Matthews is a very kind person that does not let cold cases like yours to go unnoticed. Now we are waiting for DNA results to come back, missing persons department have some remains that they want to check our DNA against. And I just want to talk to you, now, right now… If the DNA results come back and it’s you that they find, this door will be closed for me, but NOW, I can still talk to you, still hope that you are reading it.
I miss you, did I mention it? .. and I LOVE YOU
It’s been three years!
I’ve never thought that we can survive three years without Arkadiy.
Sometimes it seems that he was here just yesterday, and at times it feels like a century had passed since his disappearance.
We subconsciously have split our life into “Before Arkadiy went missing” and “After”. But I know that my family is not alone, just look at all the support we have been getting from people whose lifes have been affected by the same tragedy, or just good Samaritans that have a heart, and they are lending their hand for support, and their time for help.
Paul Thompson, Oh, Paul…. How can I thank you enough for endlessly finding new avenues to bring attention to Arkadiy. Paul even created a site on MySpace dedicated to Arkadiy. http://www.myspace.com/teens_just_dont_run_away
Jim Viola, thank you for all the kind words and for sharing our pain as we share yours (http://patriciaviolamissing.homestead.com/
) you made me realize that nothing is impossible.http://patriciaviolamissing.homestead.com/Arkadiy_Tashman_Disappearance_on_NY1_News_Dec_2005.wmv
Thanks to everyone who helped to arrange for “Remember Our Missing” event at the Staten Island Museum in December. Missing stand featured 11 Staten Island missing people including: Audrey Lyn Nerenberg, Patricia Marie Viola and Cheryl Anne
Thank you Milton, for getting us all together for 30th year anniversary of Audrey’s disappearance.
Thank you all!
YOU make us stronger, YOU GIVE US HOPE THAT MAYBE IT IS THE LAST YEAR WE HAVE TO GO ON WITHOUT MY BROTHER!
Why do they do it?
I mean, why do teenagers run away? read the previous post
Don’t they understand how much we need them? Are they crying out for attention or help? Is it just rebellion against the rules that we parents try to enforce? Are they trying to prove that they are old enough to take care of themselves?
At this age, it can be hard to explain to them how much they mean to us. That this love did not diminish with the years… that we love them just as much now as we loved them when they were little children – when they looked at us as if we were superheroes. At that age, they did not doubt nor question our love.
How do we, as parents, explain that we are not trying to break their spirits by enforcing our rules, that instead, we are trying to guide them to become better adults?
But most of all…
Why do they not come back in a few days or even years later? We have played millions of scenarios in our minds to figure out WHY… to answer the two most important questions:
Why didn’t you come back yet?
Are you still out there?
The longer you’re out there, does it become harder to come back or do they just enjoy that feeling of freedom? Maybe they’re just afraid to be punished for running away. Who would harbor any animosity, any feeling of resentment towards loved ones? We just want you to be with us.
When it neared his birthday, my son was sharing with me what he thought he might receive for his birthday. He looked at me with excitement in his eyes and whispered: “I think that Arkadiy will come home on my birthday… as a surprise… just for me.” He smiled as if asking me to keep it a secret, not to jinx it by telling anyone. My baby, he did not know that we all wished for Arkadiy’s return everyday.
Please come back, we cannot be without you.Family
When Arkadiy went missing, this tragedy nearly destroyed our family. None of us have recuperated. I completely neglected my immediate family for several months, as the search for Arkadiy took all of my time. It was wrong, but I thought, “if we find him, everything would be fine. We would feel complete again.”
In April, when I exhausted all of my search options and leads, I started spending more time at home and not on the streets or in my car. That’s when I realized that my husband withdrew from me. I was completely occupied with the search and did not see it. He was still there, but distant. Later, he was not there at all. We’ve had tough times before (who hasn’t), but this was breaking point. I do not know what still keeps us together. Maybe convenience? Maybe finance? Or is there something more? I just don’t know anymore.
All I know.. Come back.
We miss you Arkadiy Tashman.
My dear brother
Arkadiy Tashman – missing son/brother/uncle/nephew
Look at the picture. What do you see?
Is he amazing and incredibly gorgeous? At least, that’s what we think. If you knew him … oh..
People who know him are absolutely in love with his intelligence, sense of humor and his …. everything.
He is a great person, and I’m not saying it just because I’m his big sister. No, we all love him.
He’s been missing for more that 1½ years and it’s just a HUGE, PAINFUL wound that still consumes our lives.
Where should I begin…
January 26, 2005 – it was a freezing cold night. Arkadiy never came back from his friend’s house.
That started our never-ending search for him.
Flyers around the city… phone numbers… calls… flyers again… visits to all of the local police stations. I was kicking and screaming for them to use search dogs and helicopters. But, the police did not care. They labeled him an “endangered run away” and left it at that.
I put the word out to all possible news papers and TV channels: NY1, WB11, CBS, Daily News, Staten Island Advance, RTVI, NTV, Brooklyn Skyline, etc., just to spread the name “Arkadiy Tashman” around. For almost a month, our family was losing sleep. We were lucky to get just 4 hours a day. The only thing that this work yielded was more pain. People would call me with prank information (they probably thought we did not suffer enough with our loss). The calls I received were humiliating, painful and evil.
Let me give you an example of the nicest ones:
“You stupid Russian b***h. You deserved it and if I was you child, I would have killed myself.”
This is the only call I returned. I had grown tough skin by that time. (I’ll let you know how I replied in a later blog)
My poor parents. They lived from call to call. They stared at me, cried out for help, asking if I had heard something, anything.
Dad did not cry, but Mom fell apart. I could not tell who was more hurt by this ordeal. We had a full schedule of search missions. They became our life’s goal.
Flyers, flyers, flyers, hundreds of them. I spent my waking hours in my car and on the cell phone. We were pros at posting flyers. We knew where flyers would be seen, where they would stay and for how long, and we would repost them as quickly as they were torn down. I had my daily routes (about 5 of them) just in Midtown.
Posting flyers can be tricky in a cold weather. You cannot wear gloves and it’s difficult to make tape stick, but the worst was posting in the freezing rain. Stepping into melting snow, having your feet wet, was all worth it. We needed leads and did not know where to go.
We visited shelters, soup kitchens, some underground hideouts and police stations. I know them all by now.
Arkadiy… Arkadiy Tashman… Every time I post a flyer, I see your face. I don’t cry anymore (at least not when posting a flyer). Though, driving alone along the NJ Turnpike is still tough. I drove this route at least 3 times a day for the first 2 months after you disappeared.
“Come back, I MISS YOU SO MUCH” – is all I’m thinking. I still look into tall, young guy’s faces, trying to spot you when I walk on the street.
A month after Arkadiy disappeared, Mom wanted to leave this world. It was unbearable for me even to think that I could let her slip out, the same way I let you. That’s when a private investigator came into our lives, SCOTT BURNSTEIN. He brought a lot of hope to us (empty hope), that’s why I think the money he sucked out of us was worth it.
Of course, we did not agree with him when months later he robbed my credit card and maxed it out (almost $10,000). It took months and an attorney, to prove to the bank that HE RAN A SCAM ON US. To all people out there: DO NOT DEAL WITH HIM. He is a vulture, praying on people’s tragedy.
My parents and I moved into the same house now. They live in an apartment downstairs. That’s how I can hear my Mom’s crying, late at night and I, too, go to the bathroom and cry.
Dad is trying to be the Strong One, though he told me once (as we were searching a park in Staten Island with a volunteer, trying to find some traces of Arkadiy) – “I feel, if I find his body here, I’ll die instantly. I’ll never survive the loss”.
Do not be misled by my references to those people out there – whose life is so miserable that to make feel them better about themselves, they make you to suffer more that you are. There are lots of great human beings out there such as: Paul Thompson from Staten Island and some of his friends and a lot of other, who were selflessly distributing posters and digging information. Paul is a volunteer, helping to find Arkadiy and he is not giving up. Let’s not forget, there is still good in people and let’s not give freaks the opportunity to obscure that fact.
Miserable freaks, do not bother to call, but all of you GOOD people out there:
Please if you see Arkadiy Tashman, call 917-842-9875 (my cell).
He has blue eyes, 6 feet 2 inches tall, 170 pounds, light grey eyes, and ashy blond hair.
Last seen(at age 17) in Staten Island, NY on January 26th, 2005.